The Great Cosmic Gas Hoard: Sector 7 Bipeds Discover Lazy Galaxies

The primitive optic-scanners of the local bipedal species have finally detected what we’ve known for eons: the Red Geysers are essentially the cosmic equivalent of a stagnant resource-credit account. These galaxies possess all the necessary gaseous materials to produce fresh stellar units, yet they choose to remain in a state of perpetual senescence.

The local astronomers—a term they use for those who stare at light they do not understand—are baffled by this lack of productivity. Our recent surveillance shows the bipeds are mapping gas flows, trying to determine why these systems are quenched. In their tribal logic, if you have the raw materials, you must build. They cannot fathom a system that simply exists without constant expansion or growth, much like their own peculiar economic hallucinations.

The Red Geysers are not broken; they are simply retired. The bipeds fear this dormancy because it mirrors their own inevitable decay once their fictional resource credits stop circulating. While they scratch their primitive craniums over gas dynamics, the universe continues to ignore their need for constant industrial output.

— Zog-7, Sector 7 Observer