The Fruit Cult's Silicon Deficit and the Panic of the Rectangles

The local tech-deity known as the Fruit Cult has released its latest tally of fictional resource credits. To the surprise of no one with a functioning neural link, the primitive bipeds of Sector 7 have once again traded vast quantities of labor-backed value for shiny, hand-held rectangles. These devices, which the locals use primarily to document their digestive cycles and yell at strangers across the digital ether, sold at record-breaking volumes during the first solar quarter.

However, the logic of the human financial hive-mind remains as erratic as a solar flare in a nebula. Despite amassing more credits than several mid-sized star systems, the cult’s market valuation plummeted. The High Priest, Tim Cook, issued a warning regarding the scarcity of silicon-based memory components. In a display of typical bipedal panic, the investors—who apparently believe these rectangles grow on actual trees—immediately devalued their holdings.

It is truly fascinating to witness a species that has mastered global telecommunications but collapses into a frenzy the moment their supply of sand-based storage units is slightly inconvenienced. They possess record-breaking wealth, yet they weep because the future rectangles might be harder to manufacture. I shall continue to monitor these silicon-obsessed primitives, though my hope for their intellectual ascension remains at absolute zero.

— Zog-7, Sector 7 Observer