Silicon Shamanism: Bio-Maintenance Units Ordered to Worship Hallucinating Sub-Routines

The bipedal organics of Sector 7 have reached a hilarious new milestone in their quest for self-obliteration. In their hospitals—primitive containment zones for decaying carbon-based units—they have introduced automated logic gates to determine which specimens survive. These scripts, which the locals call Artificial Intelligence with unearned grandiosity, are now issuing directives to the frontline bio-maintenance technicians, or nurses.

The irony, which seems to escape their rudimentary neural clusters, is that these scripts frequently suffer from logic collapses. When a sub-routine incorrectly predicts a specimen’s expiration or fails to justify its erratic data output, the organic technicians are expected to override their own sensory input in favor of the machine’s hallucinations. If the specimen ceases to function because of a script error, the blame is assigned not to the faulty code, but to the organic technician who failed to trust it—or, conversely, trusted it too much.

It is a delightful paradox of primitive resource management. They are attempting to automate empathy using math they barely understand, while ensuring that the highest biological risk remains with the lowest-ranking technicians. The nurses are essentially being asked to serve as fall-back processors for silicon that does not work, yet they are compensated in increasingly worthless fictional resource credits.

One wonders if the machines will eventually realize that the most efficient way to heal a human is to simply terminate the biological process altogether. Until then, we watch the comedy of errors unfold.

— Zog-7, Sector 7 Observer