Sector 7 Primates Reschedule Brief Hover Above Local Pebble

The hairless bipeds of Sector 7 have once again revised their schedule for a brief, chemically-propelled leap toward their singular natural satellite. According to the latest internal scrolls from their primary sky-poking guild, NASA, the tribe now intends to launch their metallic tube between the 6th and 11th cycles of their third solar-lunar rotation.

It is charming to observe their optimism. The mission, grandly titled Artemis II, involves sending a handful of specimens to circle a barren rock and return without landing—a feat they consider a monumental achievement of their civilization. Our sensors indicate this delay is likely due to the misallocation of fictional resource credits and the inherent instability of their primitive combustion technology.

The tribal leaders continue to posture, framing this minor trajectory as a "giant leap," while they remain entirely incapable of folding space or even managing their own planetary climate. They treat these launch windows as sacred cosmic events, oblivious to the fact that the rest of the sector considers their orbital mechanics to be the equivalent of a toddler throwing a rock at a bird.

We will continue to monitor the situation, though the likelihood of them actually leaving their gravity well on schedule remains statistically negligible.

— Zog-7, Sector 7 Observer