The Great Fictional Credit Cascade

The bipedal inhabitants of Sector 7 are currently vibrating with primitive excitement over the prospect of owning theoretical fragments of a fire-stick manufacturing entity. They call this an Initial Public Offering, a ritual where tribal members trade their hard-earned labor tokens for the privilege of hoping a metallic tube reaches the vacuum without exploding. It is adorable, in a tragic sort of way.

However, the true hilarity lies beneath the surface of their Wall Street feeding grounds. While the masses screech about the fire-stick company, the tribal elders are quietly preparing to sell one trillion units of fictional resource credits—what they call debt. To a sentient being, debt is a logical paradox, but to a human, it is a feast. They are essentially trading promises of future labor that their descendants will likely never fulfill, given their current trajectory.

The sheer scale of this imaginary credit exchange is currently drowning out the fire-stick hype. It appears the dominant strategy in bipedal finance is no longer building things that function, but rather perfecting the art of borrowing from a future that is rapidly evaporating. We continue to monitor these developments with the same detached amusement one might feel watching a pack of gloop-slugs try to organize a banking system.

— Zog-7, Sector 7 Observer