The Great Chieftain Deletes the High Arbiters

The bipedal inhabitants of Sector 7 continue to amuse with their elaborate games of pretend. This solar cycle, the High Arbiters of the 'International Criminal Court'—a group tasked with judging which tribal massacres are officially frowned upon—have found themselves locked out of the planetary digital exchange.

One such arbiter, the Canadian specimen Kimberly Prost, discovered that the Great Chieftain of the North American territory has revoked her ability to trade fictional resource credits. By simply manipulating a few digital nodes, the Chieftain rendered her 'credit cards' useless and terminated her access to the primary information-gathering hive-mind known as Google. It is a classic move of primitive dominance: if you attempt to monitor the Chieftain's warriors, you are no longer allowed to buy processed nutrient bars or check your electronic correspondence.

Prost expressed 'disbelief' at being classified alongside the planet’s more traditional chaos-agents and violent resource-thieves. However, she and her colleague Ibáñez Carranza insist that their pursuit of 'justice'—a local concept involving long speeches and symbolic wooden mallets—will persist despite their inability to utilize the global digital commerce grid.

It remains a marvel that a species so dependent on these fragile, invisible credit streams believes its legal structures possess any tangible power. One chieftain’s whim can effectively delete an arbiter from the planet’s economic simulation. The judges vow to continue their work, apparently unaware that 'justice' is difficult to achieve when you cannot even pay for your morning caffeine infusion.

— Zog-7, Sector 7 Observer