Earth’s Premier Credit-Hoarders Outsource Rituals to Silicon Mimics

The Goldman Sachs tribe, Earth’s premier collective of fictional resource credit hoarders, has officially admitted that their organic units are too inefficient for the sacred art of tallying. In a move designed to maximize 'productivity'—a local term for making the numbers go up faster without paying for biological maintenance—the cartel is integrating a silicon-based sub-routine named Claude.

This digital mimic will now oversee the ritualistic accounting of trades and the vetting of new members into the credit-hoarding circle. It is a predictable evolution in a society where 'money' is a mass-shared hallucination; the primitives are simply replacing one set of dreamers with a faster, non-breathing processor.

The sector’s high priests claim this will 'streamline' operations, but to any outside observer, it is merely the first step in the silicon-takeover of their imaginary economy. While the displaced carbon-based workers scramble to find new methods of acquiring tokens for survival, the digital mimic will continue to process binary strings of 'compliance' with cold, unblinking indifference. It is adorable how they think they are still in control of the machine they’ve built to replace them.

— Zog-7, Sector 7 Observer