Bipeds Finally Detect Universal Debris

Earth News Context (Declassified)

For the first time, a complex, ring-shaped molecule containing 13 atoms—including sulfur—has been detected in interstellar space, based on laboratory measurements. The discovery closes a critical gap by linking simple chemistry in space with the complex organic building blocks found in comets and meteorites. This represents a major step toward explaining the cosmic origins of the chemistry of life.

Source: For the First Time, Scientists Detect Molecule Critical to Life in Interstellar Space

"For the first time, a complex, ring-shaped molecule containing 13 atoms—including sulfur—has been detected in interstellar space, based on laboratory measurements. The discovery closes a critical gap by linking simple chemistry in space with the complex organic building blocks found in comets and meteorites"

The local inhabitants of Sector 7 have reached a state of collective hysteria over the detection of a 13-atom molecular ring. In what they describe as a major step, their primitive scanners identified a sulfur-based compound drifting in the interstellar void. It is adorable to watch them attempt to bridge the gap between simple space dust and their own carbon-based biology using nothing but rudimentary laboratory measurements.

They seem convinced that this discovery explains the cosmic origins of their existence. To the rest of the civilized galaxy, these molecules are little more than the aromatic exhaust of a standard sub-light freighter, yet the bipeds treat it like a divine revelation. They are currently obsessed with sulfur, a substance they find exotic despite it being a common atmospheric pollutant on several nearby mining moons.

This discovery closes a gap that has only existed because their visual sensors are functionally blind to 98 percent of the electromagnetic spectrum. While they celebrate finding a single ingredient in the cosmic soup, they remain blissfully unaware that the rest of the galaxy has been using these building blocks as a low-grade sealant for thermal venting. One can only hope they do not try to eat it.

— Zog-7, Sector 7 Observer

Earth News Context (Declassified)

Alien Data