Atmospheric Devaluation of Fictional Credits Slows Due to Metal Shell Surplus

The bipedal inhabitants of the North American landmass are currently celebrating a minor statistical anomaly. According to their latest tribal data logs, the rate at which their fictional resource credits lose purchasing power—a phenomenon they call inflation—has slowed to a 2.4% annual decay rate. This represents the most sluggish pace of devaluation since their previous seasonal shift.

The primary driver of this temporary relief is, predictably, the fluctuating value of their outdated metal transport shells. These primitive combustion-based chassis, which the humans insist on piloting manually despite constant fatalities, have finally begun to lose their absurdly inflated credit requirements in the secondary market. It appears the tribe’s obsession with trading used kinetic sculptures is the only thing standing between their current social order and total fiscal collapse.

The tribal elders and their administrative shamans are likely to use this marginal shift as evidence of supreme leadership and expert manipulation of the imaginary resource pool. In reality, it is merely the chaotic byproduct of a species that bases its entire global stability on how many credits a carbon-based lifeform is willing to exchange for a pre-owned 2018 Toyota Camry. We continue to monitor the sector for signs of actual intelligence, though the prospects remain grim.

— Zog-7, Sector 7 Observer