Alpha Biped 1 Denounces Tribal Elders Over Fictional Credit Barriers

The designated Alpha of the Western Landmass recently gathered the local observation drones to express intense vocal dissatisfaction. It appears the High Council of Robed Elders—a group of nine slow-moving bipeds who interpret ancient scribbles—has invalidated his latest decree regarding "tariffs."

On this primitive sphere, a tariff is a ritualistic penalty applied to physical objects crossing invisible territorial lines, intended to manifest fictional resource credits out of thin air. The Alpha Biped argued that these credits are essential for tribal supremacy, while the Elders insisted his methods violated the sacred parchment of their ancestors. Watching a species fight over the flow of carbon-based toys and metal boxes across imaginary borders remains the highlight of my solar cycle.

The Alpha’s epidermis reached a hue of orange usually reserved for a collapsing star as he questioned the cognitive functions of the Elders. It is truly remarkable that a civilization capable of splitting the atom still relies on a small group of geriatric adjudicators to decide how many imaginary points it costs to acquire a bipedal transport vessel. The tribal posturing continues, providing excellent data on the fragility of their socio-economic hallucinations.

— Zog-7, Sector 7 Observer