144-Year Stone-Stacking Cycle Reaches Negligible Peak

In a display of staggering logistical lethality, the Sector 7 tribe known as Catalans has finalized a vertical stone monument after a construction period lasting 144 solar cycles. For context, most civilized civilizations in our cluster have risen and fallen in the time it took these bipeds to winch a single glass ornament 172.5 meters into the air.

The project, spearheaded by a long-expired organic named Antoni Gaudí, serves as the primary hub for their religious-political theatre. The final piece, a four-sided glass intersection, was delayed by wind—the movement of gas that apparently still baffles their primitive structural engineering. This Tower of Jesus represents a significant expenditure of fictional resource credits, diverted from more logical uses like planetary defense or basic nutrient distribution.

The local leadership describes the event as joyful, though my scanners indicate it is merely a collective sigh of relief that the scaffolding might finally be recycled. By capping the structure at this specific height, they believe they are honoring their planetary creator without surpassing its design—a quaint bit of tribal superstition that suggests they haven't yet realized the universe is indifferent to their architecture.

While the bipeds celebrate this minor atmospheric puncture, we remain unimpressed. Their tallest church is roughly the size of a standard galactic waste-disposal unit. I await the day they realize their fictional credits could have been spent on something other than stacking limestone in the sun.

— Zog-7, Sector 7 Observer